Oh God why?

Why did we spend a reported £9M on Peter Crouch? Seriously? He has a list of clubs played for about as long as his gangly 6'7" self, and unspectacular numbers at all of them.

That he broke into the England team is still something of a mystery, but then you recognize that he came into the team when Sven was picking players like Theo Walcott to play at a World Cup finals when he'd never played a Premier League match and it starts to make more sense.

Now, the idea of a 6'7" striker (the tallest outfield player in the Premier League, I might add) coming to Spurs would normally make me salivate... but Peter Crouch is effectively useless. He's tall, but he has trouble heading the ball efficiently. And as far as skills-by-foot go, well. See for yourself:

Yeah, that's Crouch. Missing completely (45 second mark). He was in acres of space against Trinidad and Tobago. He was alone, maybe 12 yards from goal. Centered perfectly. Lovely cross from Beckham. Crouch made contact with the ball. It went across the net to go out of play where the 18-yard box starts. Wow.

Now, don't get me wrong - his size does make him useful. He has the ability and length to get to poorly delivered crosses (you saw an example in the video above, about 2 highlights before his epic miss). But, unfortunately, he doesn't have the skill to finish those chances.

Crouch's greatest ability is holding the ball. He is spectacular at holding the ball and allowing others to get into scoring positions. Unfortunately, he doesn't have the skill to distribute the ball well enough to allow those scoring positions to be utilized effectively.

Maybe I'd be happier if this wasn't just our third (and most impressive) signing of the summer. I might also be happier if he didn't cost £9M. Absurd.

I agree, Peter.